Monday, December 30, 2013

Criminal Architecture, Volume 1

I'm going to take this up as a regular feature.

Let's begin with this marvel of malevolence at Front & Poplar.  In the second decade of the 21st century in Philadelphia, these are the kinds of buildings unfortunately approved by the 'leaders' of our city, which just so happens to otherwise contain large amounts of the most incredible architecture in North America, and the world.

What's wrong with us these days?

 So much for eyes on the street, eh?  As if the garage doors and monolithic curb cuts weren't horrific enough, I particularly 'love' the prominently-featured utility boxes (not shown, the all-too-common aerial spaghetti bowl of dozens of overhead wires), and the bollards on the pavement protecting same.

Because g-d forbid somebody should somehow manage to miss the 90% of frontage dedicated to drive-right-on-up-and-through-the-pavement infrastructure, and direct their vehicle into one of PECO's meters.  I do suppose those sleek and 'modern' Juliet balconies might perhaps maybe provide a good view of the fireworks resulting from just such a potential incident, however.

 Oh look though, this 'development' might qualify as having GreenSpace(tm!)!

Here's a question, what is the purpose of these 'windows?'

 Interior view.

Yeah, seriously.  These are just random panes of glass stuck into brick on top of inappropriate garage doors breaking up otherwise blank walls looking out from... nothing.

Once again, the safety bollard on the far side of the garage door protecting yet another (!) utility meter is a fantastically amusing feature.  I suppose this one provides fail-safe protection from the precious, physics-defying drunk driver who would somehow manage to miss the massive garage door and roll his or her SUV on into the side wall at one of the most incredible angles in world history.

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